Grief is something many of us encounter throughout our lives, but as we get older, it can seem to visit more often. The loss of a partner, family member, close friend, pet, health, mobility, or even the life we once knew can leave us feeling overwhelmed, isolated, and unsure of how to move forward.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. As grief psychotherapist Julia Samuel often reminds us, grief is not something we “get over.” Instead, we learn to carry it, adapt to it, and gradually build a life around it.
Many people believe they should be feeling better after a certain amount of time. The reality is that grief does not follow a timetable. Some days may feel manageable, while others can bring a wave of sadness when least expected. This is a normal part of the grieving process.
One of the most important things we can do is allow ourselves to feel what we feel. Trying to push grief away or stay constantly busy can sometimes delay the healing process. Giving yourself permission to cry, reflect, remember, or simply sit quietly with your thoughts can be an act of self-compassion.
While grief cannot be fixed, there are positive actions that may help you navigate the journey.
Stay Connected
Grief can make us want to withdraw from others, particularly when we feel nobody understands what we are experiencing. Yet connection is one of the strongest protective factors against loneliness and depression.
Consider:
- Calling a friend or family member regularly.
- Joining a local community group.
- Attending a bereavement support group.
- Participating in activities you once enjoyed, even if only for a short time.
You do not have to talk about your grief all the time. Sometimes simply being around other people can help.
Move Your Body, Gently
Physical activity can be challenging, particularly when energy levels are low or mobility is affected. Walking is often recommended, but it is important to acknowledge that for some people, walking can be painful or difficult.
The key is to start where you are. A short walk to the end of the road, gentle stretching, gardening, chair-based exercises, or simply spending time outdoors can all support both physical and emotional wellbeing.
Small steps are still steps.
Keep a Connection with the Person You Lost
Older approaches to grief often encouraged people to “move on.” Today’s understanding recognises that maintaining a connection can be healthy and comforting.
You might:
- Look through photographs.
- Share stories about your loved one.
- Continue a tradition that was important to them.
- Write them a letter.
- Create a memory box or scrapbook.
Love does not end when someone dies, and neither do the memories.
Create Gentle Structure
When someone important dies, everyday routines can disappear with them. Creating small points of structure throughout the day can provide stability during uncertain times.
Simple routines such as having breakfast at the same time, taking a daily walk, reading, volunteering, or attending a weekly group can help create a sense of purpose.
Be Kind to Yourself
Many older adults tell themselves they should be coping better because they have experienced loss before. Yet every loss is different.
There may be days when getting dressed feels like an achievement. On those days, that achievement is enough.
Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend who was grieving.
Reach Out for Support
Grief can sometimes feel too heavy to carry alone. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength.
Bereavement charities, counsellors, community groups, faith communities, and healthcare professionals can all offer support. Speaking with someone who understands grief can help you feel less alone and more able to navigate the challenges ahead.
Moving Forward Doesn’t Mean Leaving Them Behind
One of the greatest fears people have is that moving forward means forgetting the person they loved. It doesn’t.
Moving forward means finding ways to live alongside your grief. It means carrying your memories with you while slowly allowing yourself to experience moments of joy, connection, and meaning again.
Grief changes us, but it can also remind us of the depth of our love, the value of our relationships, and the resilience we often underestimate within ourselves.
Whatever stage of grief you are in today, remember that there is no perfect way to grieve. Take one day at a time, one step at a time, and be gentle with yourself along the way.
About the Author
Julie Shehata-Morgan is a counsellor, clinical supervisor and writer who supports people through grief, life transitions, wellbeing challenges, and personal growth. Combining professional expertise with lived experience, she shares practical, compassionate insights that help people build resilience, navigate change, and move forward with confidence.